For this piece of writing I have focusing on my vocabulary and punctuation. I have been learning to: -
  • use a range of precise vocabulary to communicate meaning (Year ⅞)
  • use all basic punctuation independently and attempt more complex punctuation (eg semicolons, colons, parentheses) (Year 7/8)

The pieces of my writing that are highlighted green are where I have shown my vocabulary and punctuation goal

My Story... shylas trip to Mexico
Here is what Shyla is like she lives in a little flat in Paris. She is an amazing person she is kind hearted she loves to help others and is always there to help. She is only 23 years old and has big dreams. She loves cats and kittens. And has a younger brother his name is Jason he is 19 years old. She loves her family she's always helping them in any way she can, she has a dog named fluffy it's a white Samoyed.

Shyla has been saving up to go to Mexico for awhile now and finally Shyla got enough to get there and back plus a bit of shopping. Shyla is so excited and she is bringing  along her friend and her name is Charlotte,  they are really excited to be going with each other.

There are two flights their times are 8:25 am and landing at 5:35 pm the next day. it's Sunday they are going to Mexico so they had to get up at 5:00 to get there on time you have to be checked in by 7:35 so they get there on time they bored at 8:25. Shyla and Charlotte were now boarding their flight. On the plane straight away the person behind her took their shoes and socks off and put his feet up on her seat and it stunk. there were tv's but the ladies in her front of her hair came over on to it so she couldn't see it for the rest of the flight she fell asleep any way. Now please buckle your seat belt back in for landing said the loud speaker. She was already clicked in. So she didn't need to be waked up but she got woken up in the landing. She forgot that she was on a Plane.

Inside the airport they had someone waiting for them to take them To the hotel that they were going to stay at for a night the next day they got on the plane and left to go to Mexico but the flight attendants said that a storm was going to hit in two day's. They got to Mexico airport and there was a shuttle taking them and some others to the hotel.

When they got into the hotel room they got ready and went out for dinner . Then two days later it got really windy and they were getting blown away  so they got a taxi back to the hotel one of the  hotel waiters said that there was a tornado coming there way everyone was screaming and crying but the waiters said that if they calm  that it would be easier to deal with and that they would be safe if they went in the bunker/storm shelter so they all ran into the storm shelter/bunker.After that they calm down a bit and sit silently in the storm shelter bunker they hear loud noises BOOM BANG CRASH! she is really frightened but luckily after a while it is over.

Later after a ruff clean up they are instructed by hotel managers and waiters to stay calm and have a cup of coffee and tea to warm up and not be hungry.About an hour later they were aloud to come out of the storm shelter/bunker they were in distraught the waiters were really upset because there houses were ruined.

There were no flights going back home for the two girls and there dog they wanted to get home and get away from the mess but there weren't any to get to anywhere so instead they got stuck in and helped clean up the city it took about a month before the city got better by the time the city was clean the airport was open again they got home and hugged their  family and said what happened and why they didn't get home quick and what they were doing in that time.

by Sophie


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